Spur Counseling

Category: Self-esteem

  • How to Improve Body Positivity

    How to Improve Body Positivity

    The idea of body positivity is not easy to explain. People are often confused about what body positivity entails, why it’s essential, and how someone can achieve this sense of self-love. As a result, many people dismiss the entire movement as a confusing fad in popular culture that will eventually fade into obscurity.

    The thing is, body positivity is a lot of things to a lot of people. And while many people share the ideal goal of achieving self-love and accepting oneself to be happy, there are multiple paths to get there. So here’s my attempt at clearing up some of the confusion and offering some general advice on how to start incorporating body positivity into your life, regardless of your starting point.

    Not About Weight or Size

    First and foremost, body positivity is not about weight or size. It’s not about being “thin” or “fit.” It’s not even about being healthy. Body positivity accepts one’s body as it exists right now, regardless of size or appearance. It’s about loving your shape and working towards feeling the most comfortable and confident in your skin possible.

    Next, let’s talk about why you might be struggling with this concept: Perhaps an adverse event happened to you regarding your body that left you self-conscious and ashamed. Maybe you grew up being bullied or teased about your weight, or perhaps you were constantly told that you were “too fat” or “too skinny.”

    These experiences can leave a lasting impact and make it difficult to feel good about oneself. It’s also possible that you are struggling because our society places an unhealthy amount of importance on appearance. We are constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” people in the media, making it tough to feel good about ourselves when we don’t match up.

    Start With Mindset

    So how can you start to change your mindset? The first step is to begin recognizing your internal dialogue. Are you constantly putting yourself down? Do you criticize your body and find fault in your appearance? If so, it’s time to start being kinder to yourself.

    Think about what you would say to a friend if they struggled with self-confidence. Would you tell them that they’re ugly? That they’re unworthy of love or happiness? Of course not! You would likely tell them that they are beautiful, capable, and deserving of love. Start using the same language when speaking to yourself. It may feel fake at first, but it will become more natural.

    Another way to start working towards body positivity is to start practicing self-compassion. This means being gentle and forgiving towards yourself in moments of doubt or insecurity. It’s not easy to be kind to ourselves when we’re feeling down about ourselves, but it’s a crucial step. Instead of thinking, “ugh, I look so fat,” try saying, “it’s okay that I feel this way.”

    It can take a while to retrain your mindset, but it’s well worth it. There is no set timeline or roadmap to achieve self-love and accept yourself as you are. It’s something that you have to work towards overtime, and it will look different for everyone.

    Some helpful tips to get started

    • Focus on your positive qualities, no matter how small they seem.
    • Try not to compare yourself to others, as this is never productive.
    • Remember that you are worthy of love and happiness regardless of your looks.
    • Try to practice self-compassion and kindness in moments of doubt.


    So how can we achieve body positivity? By taking it one step at a time, practicing patience, and learning to accept ourselves as we are today. The journey is long, but the destination is certainly worth it. If you are struggling with body positivity and have suffered from an eating disorder, please reach out to us. We would love to help you work through these issues.

  • Increasing Self-Esteem: Six Eating Disorder Prevention Strategies

    Increasing Self-Esteem: Six Eating Disorder Prevention Strategies

    It’s not always easy to feel good about yourself. There are many factors that can contribute to low self-esteem, and one of the most common is an eating disorder. If you’re suffering from a negative body image or unhealthy relationship with food, it might be time for some prevention strategies! This blog post will discuss six tips you can take today to increase your self-esteem and prevent eating disorders from taking root in your life.

    Self-Kindness

    Tip One: Practice self-kindness instead of judging yourself harshly all the time. Self-judgement is often a precursor to an eating disorder because once we start feeling bad about ourselves and our bodies, it’s very easy to start engaging in destructive behaviors. Instead of judging yourself harshly, try treating yourself with kindness and compassion. It can be hard not to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake, but criticism only makes it more likely that you’ll spiral into negative thoughts about your body or eating habits. If you’ve made an error in your diet or exercise routine (or any other area), take some time to reflect on what happened without judgment before deciding how best to deal with the situation moving forward–it could mean all the difference!

    One way to increase self-kindness is through affirmations. “Look at what you’re doing! You are amazing.” Affirmations can be powerful because they help us build the relationship with ourselves that we need in order to feel good about who we are as individuals, which is often what people suffering from eating disorders lack. Recite these affirmations daily or when you need them most (e.g., before an event where you might want to make some unhealthy choices). There’s also research that suggests writing down one of three positive qualities each day for 21 days will have an effect on how people view themselves over time, so try this exercise if it seems like it could help you.

    Self-Care

    Tip Two: Just as important as self-kindness is self-care. Get enough sleep, drink plenty of water, eat well (moderately), exercise regularly (moderately), and take care of yourself in general. All these activities are crucial for staying healthy–both physically and mentally!–and preventing stress that can lead to depression or anxiety disorders.

    Self-care is often considered a luxury that is unnecessary in the face of more immediate needs, but it’s really crucial for everyone. Self-care doesn’t just mean watching Netflix either. It can be as simple as taking a walk or cuddling with your pet or as complicated as practicing mindfulness mediation.

    Focus Externally

    Tip Three: Focus externally rather than internally as much as possible by investing time in hobbies and activities. By keeping your focus on the present, you’ll be less likely to dwell on past mistakes or worry about what might happen in the future. Also, the less time spent in your head, the more time you’ll have to focus on other people and activities.

    Much of our suffering comes from negative cognitions. The more you think about something negative, the stronger your negative thoughts will become. You can’t ignore these thoughts and hope that they’ll go away. Instead, you need to find ways that you can combat those thoughts. As you improve at combating negative thoughts, you’ll start to experience more positive thoughts.

    One of the most challenging external focuses is comparison to others. Stop comparing yourself to other people and your successes to theirs. Instead, boost self-esteem by making a list of all the things you like about yourself, both physical and nonphysical. You might be surprised at how many positives there are! Keep this list close for those days where it feels hard to remember what’s good about you – which will hopefully be less often than they were before. It can also help to make up one or more compliments that someone would give you if they saw you on the street right now.

    Build Mastery

    Tip Four: Build mastery of a skill that feeds your sense of self-worth and confidence. Building new skills can help you feel accomplished, and when that feeling is reinforced by positive feedback from friends or family members it can be extremely motivating.

    It can be helpful if your skill is one where you don’t need any external validation from others in order to feel good about yourself. These activities can include hobbies such as cooking, writing poetry and reading books; volunteering your time at various causes; taking care of your health by doing yoga or going for walks outside; using mindfulness exercises like meditation and deep breathing techniques or praying, and learning a new language.

    Do Something Nice for Someone

    Tip Five: Do something nice for someone else to increase the feeling that you matter in this world. This could be volunteering or paying a compliment, but whatever it is, do it often! There are so many opportunities every day to make other people’s lives better by doing something small like just listening attentively and reacting to what you hear.

    Find a Support System

    Tip Six: Find a support system. You don’t have to go through this alone! Support is crucial for your mental health, and it can help you realize that other people struggle with the same things as you do. Sometimes we’re better able to see ourselves in someone else’s story than when looking at our own struggles up close. It might seem impossible now, but there are plenty of resources available- friends, family members, therapists (like me!) or recovery groups -that want nothing more than for you to feel good about yourself again.

    Foster meaningful relationships with people who have a good influence on you, and spend time in social settings. I want to mention how often we underestimate the power of our friendships and connections because they’re not romantic or sexual relations but those are just as important for your mental health. Friendship is fulfilling in its own way, it may be less passionate than what’s found in intimate relationships but that doesn’t make it any less valuable; if anything it makes them all the more so!

    In fact, research has shown that having one close friend can counteract loneliness which can lead to poor physical health outcomes like high blood pressure from chronic stress levels. In addition, these friends provide emotional support and can help you improve your self-esteem.

    It also helps to remember that it takes time and effort for anyone, no matter how old they are or where they come from, to change their lives in a way that makes them happier. There’s no right answer when it comes to what the best strategy is but these helpful tips can get you started at improving your self-esteem and keep eating disorders in check.