Spur Counseling

Category: Life tips

  • 5 Nutrition Tips for Someone Recovering from an Eating Disorder

    5 Nutrition Tips for Someone Recovering from an Eating Disorder

    Recovering from an eating disorder is a process. It’s not something that can be fixed overnight. In fact, most people who experience the effects of an eating disorder for a prolonged period of time will require ongoing treatment and support to ensure they do not relapse. Eating disorders are often seen as vanity problems. However, in reality, they are much more than just about a fear of fat or food. They are mental illnesses that cause serious physiological side effects. Eating disorders affect around one in every 200 people at some point in their life, and if left untreated can have devastating consequences. To get back to a healthy place after suffering from the effects of an eating disorder takes time, patience and persistence. Recovery can be difficult and challenging; however it is also rewarding and life-changing. Use these 5 nutrition tips for someone recovering from an eating disorder to help you on your journey.

    Don’t be afraid to experiment with food.

    One of the hardest parts of recovering from an eating disorder is trying to work out what normal eating habits actually are. What does a ‘normal’ portion size look like? How often should you eat? What sort of foods should you be eating? During the initial stages of your recovery, it’s important not to be too rigid or fixed about the way you eat. It’s likely that your body and nutritional requirements have changed significantly from what they were when you were at your lowest. When you were in the grip of an eating disorder, you were in a mentally and physically unhealthy state. This meant that your body was functioning at a sub-par level and couldn’t make the best and most accurate nutritional calculations. This can make it harder to work out what is a ‘normal’ amount of food to eat.

    Take care of your body, but don’t obsess over exercise.

    Exercise is an incredibly important part of good health; however, it is crucial not to fall into the trap of obsessing over it. For many people, the obsessive nature of eating disorders feeds into an unhealthy fixation with exercise and fitness. You may have become obsessed with the calories you are burning through exercise, counting them religiously and pushing yourself to do more and more each day. When you are recovering from an eating disorder, it is important not to fall into the same unhealthy trap with exercise. You need to be mindful of your body and how it responds to exercise so that you don’t injure yourself. You also need to be careful not to push yourself too far and spark a relapse. It’s also important to note that exercise is not a magical fix-all that will instantly repair your mental state and somehow make you eat ‘properly’ again. It is a wonderful addition to a healthy lifestyle, but it is not a substitute for therapy.

    Don’t pressure yourself to eat more than you want.

    Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that affect the way you think and feel about food. Your eating disorder is a false voice that is telling you that you are not good enough and that you are in some way inadequate. When you are in the grips of an eating disorder, you are often in a heightened state of anxiety, fear or self-loathing. This can make it incredibly difficult to think rationally about food and to trust your instincts about when you are full or hungry. The eating disorder might make you believe that you need to eat more when you are not actually hungry, or that you have to eat a certain amount at every mealtime. It may also make you think that you need to eat certain foods at certain times. With the help of a therapist and a nutritionist, you can learn how to trust your instincts and be mindful of your body when it comes to eating.

    Maintain a healthy relationship with food.

    Your relationship with food needs to change as you recover from an eating disorder. You need to learn to trust your body, understand what it needs and appreciate that it is capable of coping with life stresses. You may need to give your body more time to digest certain foods, which can be frustrating if you are accustomed to eating on a strict schedule. You may also find that your mental state affects how quickly you are able to process food and that you need to eat more often. A therapist can help you navigate the emotional and psychological effects of the eating disorder, while a nutritionist can help you navigate the physiological effects. They can help you understand how the eating disorder has affected your body and provide practical strategies to help you cope with it.

    Keep in mind why you want to recover from your eating disorder.

    When you are in the grips of an eating disorder, it can be incredibly hard to remember anything about your life outside of food. Your eating disorder has taken control and become the major focus of your life. You have been consumed with thoughts of food, dieting and calories. When you are recovering from an eating disorder, it is important to keep these things in mind. It can be easy to slip back into old habits and forget the reasons that you wanted to recover in the first place. You need to be mindful of the fact that you have a goal and a reason to keep pushing through even if you are feeling like you are failing. You may not feel like you are making any progress, and you may feel like you’ve failed every diet you’ve tried in the past. But you need to keep in mind that every day you are getting one step closer to the person you want to be.

    Recovering from an eating disorder is a long and challenging process. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this journey and that there are people out there who can help you. There are countless people who have suffered from the effects of an eating disorder and conquered it. You can do the same thing, but you need to be patient with the process and take care of yourself along the way.

  • 5 Facts You Didn’t Know About Bulimia

    5 Facts You Didn’t Know About Bulimia

    Most people understand that Bulimia is when someone eats food and purges it shortly after. There are still some misconceptions surrounding bulimia that are important to be aware of. Bulimia is an eating disorder characterized by episodes of bingeing and purging. While bulimia is often thought of as a disorder that affects young women, it can actually affect people of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. Bulimia is often triggered by dieting. When people restrict their food intake, they may be more likely to binge when finally giving in to their cravings. Here are five facts you probably didn’t know about Bulimia.

    Bulimia Is Often Rooted In Compulsive Behavior/Habits

    Bulimia typically impacts people focused on their body image, and feeling that they need to control their weight. Eating what they want, and feeling guilt and embarrassment, will be purged by vomiting excessive diuretics or laxatives. There can also be an over-exercise component in order to compensate for food eaten, leading to injuries and deficiencies in their body. 

    It Is Possible To Have Normal Body Weight Even With Bulimia?

    If someone is bulimic, it doesn’t automatically mean they will be clinically underweight. The person who has bulimia can still be an average body weight since they are still consuming calories, and their body adjusts to the lack of calories, so their weight doesn’t fluctuate as drastically. Some cases of bulimia are misdiagnosed as something else because you often do not see the drastic change in your body as you would with anorexia.

    Bulimia doesn’t mean you purge after every meal

    If someone is bulimic, it doesn’t automatically mean they will be clinically underweight. The person who has bulimia can still be an average body weight since they are still consuming calories, and their body adjusts to the lack of calories, so their weight doesn’t fluctuate as drastically. Some cases of bulimia are misdiagnosed as something else because you often do not see the drastic change in your body as you would with anorexia.

    It’s About Control

    People with bulimia may experience the desire to be skinny. Still, in many cases, the people that struggle with this are seeking control of something in their life; food can be an easier method of controlling the food you eat and when and how you purge, making it a vicious cycle that can be very difficult to get out of.

    Men suffer from bulimia too

    We typically mostly hear about women struggling with this eating disorder. The percentage of bulimia cases According to data, is that nearly 15% of people being treated for bulimia and anorexia are actually male. Males are less likely to seek help and are less likely to show noticeable symptoms.

    Bulimia impacts many people of all ages, races, and genders and should be considered a serious threat to someone’s life. Bulimia is associated with a higher risk of suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling with bulimia, it’s essential to get professional help. Bulimia can be difficult to overcome on one’s own, but with treatment, recovery is possible. 
  • The Myth of Self-Care

    The Myth of Self-Care

    For the better part of the 20th century, it wasn’t common knowledge to take care of oneself. It was only recently that we start hearing about self-care on TV and in magazines as a way to stay healthy and strong in challenging times. Nowadays, self-care has transformed into something with many meanings which can vary person by person.

    While this is true in many cases, it’s a very narrow understanding of the concept when it comes to our mental health. Self-care may very well mean a massage or a day of golf. It might mean going out with friends or taking a day to enjoy some extra rest. Who doesn’t love taking time away from the stress of daily life to do something with the sole purpose of giving yourself an emotional boost?

    In actuality, self-care goes much deeper than a day at the spa, and the sooner you can embrace it in its full meaning, the healthier you will become. Good self-care doesn’t always mean doing something enjoyable. Honestly, it might mean doing things you actively dislike.

    When it comes to taking care of ourselves, we’re quick to embrace the activities that feel nice. Those massages and manicured nails aren’t much of a struggle. We enjoy them, and yes, we should make time for those things. But, freshly painted nails aren’t life-changing, and sometimes we need the kind of care that cuts to our core. Sometimes, self-care looks more like self-parenting. Stop eating the cookies after one or two. Go to bed at a decent hour. No, you can’t go play with friends until the house is clean. Every now and then, what we really need isn’t relaxation. It’s discipline.

    Here are some other examples of self care:

    *Regular exercise.

    *Good nutrition

    *Setting healthy boundaries

    *Meditation/Prayer

    *Having vulnerable conversations

    *Going to therapy

    *Quitting smoking/drinking

    *Journaling

    *Goal setting

    *Relinquishing control of others

    *Embracing positivity

    Self-care is vitally important to being our best selves. We need time to recharge, and engaging in relaxing and fun activities is part of living our best life. But true self-care also includes the hard things that don’t always seem easy at the moment, yet pack a big payoff. Challenge yourself to add some tough love into your self-care routine. Let me know if I can help!

  • Reflecting on Coronavirus Quarantine

    Feeling stuck inside during COVID19 quarantine
    A girl looking out her window wishing to go outside during Coronavirus crisis.

    Today marks 8 full weeks of quarantine; of social distancing; of working from home. Each week seems to have a personality. Week 1: A bit exciting! Week 2: Repetitive. Week 3: Smooth…. Week 6 seemed to hit hard, and week 7 felt a bit lighter. With each week, we get closer to the day where stores, restaurants and businesses open up again, while acknowledging the potential to be delayed yet again. 

    There are many unanswered questions that arise, including ‘when will this end’ and ‘when will I see my friends’ and ‘when will I hug my family?’ ‘When will they get married’ and ‘when do we get to travel again?’ With time, the answers will come; for now, we practice coping with the distress of the unknown, and finding new indoor hobbies.

    It is easy to get caught up in the discomfort and anxiety of the situation, and this makes it extra important to find gratitude whenever possible. We should not neglect the negative as it arises, the events missed and the connections strained, but we can make space for the positive aspects of this time.

    Things I am grateful for during Coronvirus

    I bring awareness to gratitude when noting the following:

    • Reading. Over the years my reading list has grown exponentially, and I finally have had the time to work through these books. I am taking advantage of this time, and the extra time without a commute, to focus on this list. Choosing books in which I am interested has helped me to have something to look forward to on most if not all days, as well as exercise my mind in a different way.
    • Video calls. In order to stay close to loved ones in a time of separation, I have used video calls for communication. I’ve been able to celebrate birthdays and play games with friends and family members through video. Though we discuss the events in the world, it has lessened when we have other activities to keep us occupied. This is an excellent way to challenge the feeling of isolation, and switch up the daily routine. One way to stay connected and feel less lonely is to seek a therapist through video call.
    • Family. Mother’s Day has typically been a day of praising my mom and being able to acknowledge all she does for her family. This year was no exception. I am grateful for pleasant weather and masks that made it possible to spend time with family.
    • Colleagues. Despite the challenges of working from home, I am grateful for a group of colleagues that collaborate as well as my team does. We all have different home environments with differing schedules, and we work together to accommodate each other’s needs in order to maintain a healthy work-life balance and accomplish all of our tasks.
    • Partner. On a typical day, my husband and I part ways early in the morning and reconvene later in the evening, as many couples do. Working from home has given us the opportunity to spend lunch together, take walks, and see each other’s work ethics. We’ve been able to give each other the space we need to work, while being in the same environment throughout the day. In a way, being together daily reminds me of our honeymoon, which is time we cherished together.

    Sooner or later, life will open up and return to a busy pace. I look forward to those times ahead, while realizing that I do appreciate aspects of the current climate, and try to stay mindful and present when finding gratitude.

  • Body Image Advice for Springtime

    Body Image Advice for Springtime

    Now that Daylight Savings has passed, we are officially ‘springing ahead’ to spring. While many people look forward to wearing jean jackets and flowy dresses, people with body image issues may be hesitant to ditch their winter jackets and gloves. Those who suffer with eating disorders (or struggle with body image) may be thinking less about the increased light, and more about their wardrobes and bodies. 

    A common side effect of having an eating disorder is poor body image, and some people will experience body dysmorphia (hyperfocusing on the “flaws” of one’s own body, and often seeing a different image of one’s body than others see). With the inevitable changing of the seasons, thoughts about wearing less clothing and showing more skin can increase the prevalence of anxiety and depression.

    If you’re struggling with thoughts of warmer weather, consider these tips for the seasonal adjustment:

    DO NOT

    • DO NOT Compare your body to anyone else’s body, or “your old body”… Your body is your own, and it naturally changes with time. Comparisons generally lead to negative thoughts!
    • DO NOT spend too much time looking in the mirror… The more time you look at yourself, the more likely you are to find details that bother you. Limit your time in front of the mirror to the essentials, like brushing your teeth, hair, and other basic needs. Staring at your body will not change your body! 
    • DO NOT implement food rules and weight loss goals… This can lead to feelings of failure and self-deprecation. Ie: if your goal is to “not have any chocolate this week,” how will you feel if you have a piece of chocolate?
    • DO NOT neglect your activities of daily living… Go to your appointments, talk to your support systems, engage in self-care, take mindfulness breaks, or seek the help of a counselor.

    DO

    • DO wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable.
    • DO talk about things other than dieting… There is so much more in the world to talk about that does not have to do with food and weight.
    • DO make plans that do not include food… For example, you could go to a museum, a parks, or a show. Naturally, in the warmer weather, there are ample options of outside activities. If going to a restaurant is triggering and anxiety-producing, know your (temporary) limits; this too shall pass.
    • DO the opposite… If you feel like avoiding a beach trip with your friends, go! If you feel like skipping dinner, have dinner! It can be challenging to push through the initial anxiety, but the end result will give you confidence that you are capable of engaging in your life, even when you have thoughts telling you otherwise.
    • DO reflect on your personal growth since last spring… and, disregard the number on the scale. What have you accomplished in the past year that did NOT have to do with your weight and shape?

  • 10 Signs of Depression

    Wondering whether you have signs of depression? It may be tough to tell if the symptoms you are feeling are signs of depression or a different medical issue.  One of the reasons depressions signs are not well known is due to the stigma in discussing depression.  Further, symptoms of depression can look very different in men and women.

    Unlike some medical diagnoses, depression symptoms are not always explicit and a doctor or therapist needs to look at the totality of signs to make a diagnosis.  Could you be depressed without know it?  Below are 10 signs of depression

    Weight Changes

    Depression can cause a loss of interest in eating or a loss of appetite.  On the flip side, it can also result in overeating or bingeing food.  If you notice a change in your eating habits, this could be a symptom of depression.

    Sleep Changes

    Are you sleeping more than 8 hours a day or unable to fall asleep at night?  Changes in typical sleep patterns can be related to depression.  These changes may swing from side to side and are worth monitoring. Either symptom may be accompanied by waking up consistently in the middle of the night.

    Difficulty Focusing

    You may find yourself having difficulty concentrating at work or focusing on a specific task. If you always have this issue, it can be hard to tell that this is connected with depression.  But, if this is a change from the norm for you, make sure to tell your doctor about it.

    Body Pains

    Body aches and pains can be symptoms of many issues.  For that reason, it is often missed as a sign of depression. Because of the stigma of depression, many people are unaware that physical pains may be a symptom of depression. Stomach aches, decreased immune ability, and other physical symptoms can result from a depressive episode.

    Anger and Irritability

    This one is especially prevalent in men.  Feeling like little things set you off could be a sign of depression turned inward. If you cannot let things go like you used to, you may be feeling the effects of depression.

    Increased Drinking or Drug Use

    Use of alcohol or substances is a common method of numbing the pain associated with depression. People suffering from depression often use these substances to mask the pain of their emotions.  If you notice an increase in your use of drugs or alcohol, consider whether depression may be present.

    Desire to Stay Home

    Not interested in going out like you used to be?  Feeling like you just want to stay in bed all day and watch Netflix? A change in your desire to interact with others may be depression.

    Changes in Sex Drive

    Not as interested in sex as you used to be? Depression can lower or completely eliminate your sex drive.  This lack of desire can create a positive feedback loop that increases your feelings of sadness or worthlessness. In addition, a dip in your sexual desire could affect your partner and feed into your depression.

    Over- or Undereating

    Like the other depression signs, a change in eating behavior can swing in either direction.  If you are eating too much or bingeing, this could be a sign of depression.  Similarly, a loss in appetite or an inability to eat can signal depression.

    Thoughts of Suicide

    The most important sign to pay attention to are suicidal ideation.  If you have thoughts of ending your life or feelings that things would be better off if you died, it is important that you immediately seek professional help. Suicidal thoughts are the most serious sign of depression and should be treated seriously.  Depression like other medical ailments can be treated!

    As noted in a recent PhillyVoice article, Google has made a screening tool available in its search results when a mobile user searches for a term like “clinical depression.” If these signs seem familiar to you, you should conduct a screening test or be assessed by a physician or mental health counselor.

  • Six Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism

    If you are reading this, you may be someone who wishes they could overcome perfectionism. Overcoming реrfесtіоnіѕm isn’t juѕt about ассерtіng that you’ll nеvеr bе perfect. It’ѕ аbоut embracing your іmреrfесtіоn, flаwѕ, wеаknеѕѕеѕ! The things you may consider flaws are actually what mаkеs уоu unique аnd, ironically, mоrе lоvаblе.

    The strive for реrfесtіоnіѕm often lіmіtѕ your ѕuссеѕѕ аnd hарріnеѕѕ and stymies creativity. Evеn when іt doesn’t, іt can ѕtор уоu frоm аррrесіаtіng the things you have асhіеvеd in life.

    A growth mindset requires you to ассерt fаіlurе аѕ part оf lіfе, and enjoy the process іnѕtеаd of only fосuѕіng on асhіеvіng уоur gоаlѕ and rеасhіng your dеѕtіnаtіоn. Perfectionism creates ѕtrеѕѕ аnd anxiety; self-acceptance leads tо hарріnеѕѕ аnd реасе.

    Perfectionists оftеn procrastinate, bесаuѕе they are afraid they wоn’t dо a perfect jоb on a task. Thеу would rather fаll bасk оn thе еxсuѕе of “oh, I only hаd twо hours tо dо this, ѕо іt’ѕ nоt thаt gооd” іnѕtеаd of trуіng hаrd аnd potentially fаіlіng.

    As a result, pеrfесtіоnіѕtѕ ѕеt themselves uр fоr emotional аnd mеntаl health рrоblеmѕ such as еаtіng dіѕоrdеrѕ and аnxіеtу аttасkѕ. Thеу dоn’t еnjоу their ѕuссеѕѕ….аnd thеу constantly lіvе іn fеаr.

    Bаlаnсе high hореѕ wіth harsh rеаlіtу

    Pеrfесtіоnіѕtѕ hаvе еxресtаtіоnѕ аnd gоаlѕ thаt simply саnnot bе met! Tо overcome perfectionism, уоu nееd tо bаlаnсе grеаt expectations wіth rеаlіtу. Accept that уоur lіmіtѕ – аnd оthеr реорlе’ѕ lіmіtѕ – are rеаl. Yоu simply саnnot ever be perfect. Sorry!

    Prасtісе bеіng іmреrfесt

    Thе bеѕt wау to ѕtор trying tо bе реrfесt іѕ tо lеt уоurѕеlf (аnd оthеrѕ) release іmреrfесt work tо thе world. Bе imperfect in уоur parenting, your profession, and your rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ with others. Thе more you рrасtісе being іmреrfесt, thе mоrе соmfоrtаblе you’ll be with іt! When you are attempting to overcome perfectionism, practice makes (im)perfect!

    Savor ѕаtіѕfасtіоn fоr what уоu’vе асhіеvеd

    Lеаrn tо аррrесіаtе аnd hоnоr уоur еffоrt, thе process, аnd your ассоmрlіѕhmеntѕ. Thе bіg рісturе mаttеrѕ more thаn the tіnу dеtаіlѕ: the fасt that you’re hоѕtіng a dіnnеr раrtу mеаnѕ more thаn whеthеr the dishes match, аnd the fact that you fіnіѕhеd the rероrt at work mаttеrѕ mоrе thаn a few grаmmаtісаl еrrоrѕ. Start to practice daily gratitude for the small successes.

    Express уоur emotions!

    Tо overcome perfectionism, you must lеаrn tо ассерt уоur painful еmоtіоnѕ (rеgrеt, dіѕарроіntmеnt, worry) – but you do not need to dwell in thеm. If your thoughts of imperfection are running on repeat in your head, get them onto paper or record them on your computer.  The process of verbalizing these thoughts will force you to look at them differently.

    Take action tоwаrdѕ уоur gоаlѕ to overcome perfectionism

    Whаt have you always wаntеd to do, but never tried because уоu wеrе аfrаіd of fаіlіng? Try іt now! Audition for a play, do improv comedy, ѕеnd a resume fоr a jоb, or аѕk ѕоmеоnе оn a dаtе. CEOs in Silicon Valley often look at failure as a badge of honor. Adopt this mindset.

    Figure оut why уоu ѕtrіvе to be реrfесt

    I had a client that always wanted tо bе реrсеіvеd as perfect because she grew up thinking thаt оnlу реrfесt people аrе lоvеd. This slanted thinking can lead to a negative life view. These issues often stem from your family of origin or other anxiety in your others systems.  Seeing a therapist can help you analyze what makes you strive to be perfect all the time.