I know that you are probably feeling powerless and frustrated when your teenager is skipping meals or says they are full even though they’ve eaten next to nothing. I want to help you learn how you can be the best support for your teen in this difficult time. In this article, I am going to tell you about seven tips to help a teenager with an eating disorder.
1. Learn More About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are not a choice. They can be related to stress, depression, anxiety and body image issues. There are three main types of eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge-eating disorder.
Anorexia is a disorder that has to do with restricting food intake, potentially leading to dangerously low body weight and a distorted shape. Binge-eating disorder is generally defined as eating large amounts of food during periods of time when the person isn’t hungry, while feeling out of control. Bulimia involves eating large amounts of food in a limited time and then intentionally purging through vomiting, using laxatives or other methods to avoid weight gain (or loss).
Eating disorders often can be life-threatening and have many complications including malnutrition, electrolyte imbalance and heart failure. They are serious mental health problems that can require treatment from a doctor or mental health therapist.
Many people think that those with an eating disorder will be overly concerned about amounts of food and weight gain but this is not always the case. In fact, most of the time, they are primarily concerned with body image.
Some of the signs that a teenager may have an eating disorder include intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, extreme efforts to control their food intake and social isolation from other people who do not share in this perspective on food and exercise.
An eating disorder can be related to mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Parents of a teenager who has an eating disorder should be on the lookout for changes in mood or behavior that could indicate this issue. The severity varies between individuals but there should always be some concern if you’re noticing these patterns in your teen. You need to have a conversation with them, even if they want to avoid it.
2. Keep A Variety of Eating Options at Home
One of the most important things you can do for your teenager is to keep a variety of food options at home. This may include different types of fruits and vegetables, protein sources like meat or beans, as well as snack options like popcorn and pretzels. It’s not always possible to cook every night so if that’s true in your family then it will be helpful to have these other choices available sometimes.
Your teen may have certain foods that feel more and less “safe” to eat. It is important for them to have a variety of food options, and refrain from avoiding any certain type of food. Encourage your teen to experiment with new foods and try not to judge any food choice they make as “good” or “bad”.
It is important to follow through on your promise of providing your teen with regular meals and snacks so that impulsivity does not get out of hand! Make sure you prepare these things ahead of time as well, so there isn’t any excuse to not eat.
3.Talk to Your Teen Openly About Their Eating Behaviors
Encourage your teen to talk about their thoughts and feelings around food. Do not judge or lecture them, but listen with empathy. Ask open-ended questions like “How do you feel?”; “What is going on for you at this time?”, etc. By listening, you are not only showing support for your teen, but you are also providing insight into their mind. By asking open questions and truly listening, you help your teen improve low self-esteem, you improve your relationship with your child, and you encourage them to come to you with their problems.
The best way to start the conversation is with an empathic statement: “I can tell this has been really hard on you” or “It must be difficult having these negative thoughts all of the time.” From there, offer a listening ear so they don’t feel like everyone else just wants them to get better. This might help motivate your teen towards change.
Again, make sure not to lecture though or make your teen feel guilty about their eating disoder, no matter how much you want it to be gone. For many people who suffer from eating disorders, being told what they should eat provides another form of restriction which needs to be fought against so that recovery may begin. It helps if parents work alongside professionals instead of imposing diets upon their child. Remember, if you are not qualified to give medical advice or create treatment plans, you should stick to what you do best, being a parent!
It is also possible that your teen may have other mental health issues in addition to any type of eating disorder – such as depression, anxiety, trauma history, etc. You would want to address these concerns separately before diving into the specifics about food restriction behaviors because there could be physical or emotional reasons behind this behavior. If an eating disorder is complex or your teenager is in danger, it may be time to consider eating disorder treatment, a support group, or individual and family therapy.
4.Set a Good Example
Set a good example with your eating habits and model an appropriate relationship with food. It’s important that you teach your teen that eating is about nourishment and not to feel bad or good. If you want them to understand this, then it’s important for you to practice what you preach!
Try to model acceptance of all body types and reject the intense focus on weight loss and thinness. This will help prevent your teen from developing a negative body image. By modeling a positive body image, you can also help your teen develop a positive relationship with food.
Promote balance and moderation in your message about eating to get across the idea that there is no “good or bad” foods. It is important for teens with an eating disorder to be surrounded by a healthy environment where they can feel loved and accepted regardless of how much food they are consuming.
It’s okay if you don’t know how to fix your child’s eating disorder. Your job is to be a parent, not a therapist. So, it’s okay to tell them that you don’t know what to do. Consider family therapy or other resources to learn more with your child about improving eating behaviors.
5.Be Curious
One helpful tool to use to support your teen is asking questions and being curious.
For example, you could ask: “What foods make you feel negative about yourself?” “Are there foods that feel triggering to you?” “Is there anything that makes you happy or improves your mood? What’s the best thing about being at home with family and friends?”
Sometimes teens will put themselves on “diet” restrictions without currently being diagnosed with any type of disorder. When your child starts restricting their diet or changing their eating habits, it is important to be curious about what their goal is. If they are not being treated for an eating disorder but are simply “trying” a new diet or exercise routine and limiting calories on purpose then the conversation should be different from when you’re talking with someone who has been diagnosed as having anorexia(for example).
When being curious with your loved one, do not be critical. Be supportive and curious about their intentions.
“I’m really worried because you’ve been cutting back on calories a lot lately. What’s going on?” “What do you hope to be able to achieve with this new diet? I want to know how I can support your goals.” “Are these changes just temporary for now, or something that you plan to stick with for a while?”
If your loved one is uncomfortable talking about their weight or eating, then I would recommend being more direct. The stakes are too high when someone has anorexia and/or another type of eating disorder. “Are you hungry? Are you struggling at all with food right now?”
It’s important too that you don’t criticize what they eat because this will not be helpful and may make them want to hide an eating disorder even further. Try and find a gentle way to raise your concerns.
6.Talk about the Benefits of Exercise without Focusing on Weight Loss.
Teens are becoming overly focused on body fat, dieting, and body image. While exercise is important, the focus should be on healthy exercise. Encourage them to try different types of exercises, like aerobic exercise and yoga or martial arts (if they are up for it).
You can also encourage them to join an intramural sports team at school or a local community center so that they can make connections with others who might be dealing with similar struggles. However, it’s important not to pressure your teen if they don’t want to participate in physical activity, as this could have the opposite effect on them than what you intend.
It is important that the focus of exercise be on maintaining wellness and a healthy lifestyle. This will help to encourage your teen to adopt an exercise plan, which can be beneficial for both physical and mental health.
7.Talk about Stress Management
It is important to talk about how to manage stress as well as accept your child’s emotions without judgment. It is very common for children experiencing eating disorders to feel extremely stressed out and overwhelmed by their lives; however, these feelings are often temporary and usually will get better if you support your teen in acknowledging and expressing their feelings.
It is also important to work towards accepting emotions without judgment, which can be difficult for many parents when their teenage child has an eating disorder. Acknowledge the emotion as it’s happening rather than waiting until the end of a situation before addressing something that seems like a “big deal.” For example: If she throws up after being out with friends or starts crying because she was yelled at by her teacher, say something right away instead of telling her how disappointed you are after the fact. This will help reduce any self-blame on behalf of your teenager and show them that they don’t need to keep things hidden from you.
You can also do your best to reduce the stress level at home. Make sure every family member has enough time for themselves, so they can have the energy to spend with the teen. Try not to put additional pressure on them such as by being too demanding or providing overwhelming expectations (for example: “I need you to do all these chores before your friends come over”).
Do things together that are relaxing and fun like going out to a movie or taking a walk in the park. You can also do your best to increase positive attention. Take an interest in what they are interested in, provide them with opportunities for success, be patient with their mistakes, praise them when appropriate (for example: “I am so proud of you!”), and spend more time using positive communication techniques such as active listening.
Don’t make any big decisions for your child without talking about it first, even something small (like deciding where to go eat dinner) because there are always potential consequences which means more stress for everyone involved.
Eating disorders are one of the most common and challenging mental illnesses for teenagers. Whether your teen is battling anorexia, binge eating disorder, or bulimia, they need help in this fight. By following these tips you can make a difference in their life that will last a lifetime. If you think your child may still be struggling with an eating disorder, contact me today to get started on helping them heal!
